An Ambulance Ride
"A gurney piled high with tots — the patient ride included, the bill arriving separately."
Six miles, lights and sirens, properly accounted for.
At the prevailing rate of $0.14/oz for name-brand Tater Tots® or $0.093/oz for the generic equivalent, with each tot standardized to 8.5 grams. The thrifty consumer is directed to the Calculator for additional dimensional conversions.
Other Matters of the Body
An Emergency Room Visit
"Tots filling the very chair you sat in, with enough left over to share with the triage nurse."
Four hours in the waiting room, weighed properly.
A Family's Annual Health Insurance
"An entire garage filled with tots — and the deductible has, as yet, not been met."
The premium paid before the deductible is met.
A Single MRI
"Tots filling the scanner tube itself — at considerably less expense per slice."
Forty minutes of imaging, in starch terms.