The Family Streaming Bundle
"Sufficient tots to feed the entire household through the season finale, with leftovers."
Every screen in the house, monthly.
At the prevailing rate of $0.14/oz for name-brand Tater Tots® or $0.093/oz for the generic equivalent, with each tot standardized to 8.5 grams. The thrifty consumer is directed to the Calculator for additional dimensional conversions.
Other Recurring Indulgences
A Streaming Service, Monthly
"A monthly bag of tots, standing in for the streaming queue you have not actually watched."
What the prestige drama costs, weighed in starch.
A Monthly Gym Membership
"A month's worth of tots — caloric mockery of the very membership in question."
The treadmill goes unused. The tots do not.
A Newspaper Subscription
"A serving of tots large enough to read alongside, with one hand free for either."
The morning paper, weighed in golden cylinders.